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Public Service Announcements

Happy Valentine's Day... Beeeotch!

"Baby, what in the hell were you thinking?"

"I just wanted you to know how I felt, in the freshest lyrical way possible..."

Behold the Hip-Hop Telegram. Alona Wartofsky, the Original Washington Post Gangster, keeps it real while reporting on the newest, dumbest idea to hit the East Coast.

Bling bling not included...

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American Psych. Oh?

Either you read the New Yorker immediately, as soon as it arrives (you are a "New Yorker Whore") or else you read it way, way later, like, a month or a year later, when you glance at the stack in the corner and notice the cover of the one on the top and think, "I haven't yet read that one, now have I?" (you are in the second case a "Good Right-Thinking American"). It is left to the reader as an exercise to determine which of the two types your author is.

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Posted by jable on November 16, 2003 | Comments (266) | TrackBack

On the Road Again

Have no fear. The webmaster, or webmeister as he prefers to be called, has decided that a road trip would do him some good and has consequently departed the D.C. Metropolitan area in search of America. The daft bugger no doubt plans to write extensively about his travels...and I'm sure we are all giddy with anticipation.

News Flash: Periodic Diversions Staff Missing

WASHINGTON, DC

According to the company's website, the entire staff of periodicdiversions.com is missing. Weeks have passed since the last contribution by any author, and all but one, the progressively less and less funny "ryan c", seem to have absconded months ago.

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Posted by ryan c on November 02, 2003 | Comments (111) | TrackBack

The Nation's New Gas Crisis

1. New study reveals that flatulence can ruin intimate moments.

2. Farting at a colleague can get you fired and cost your employer $100,000.

Posted by ryan on August 28, 2003 | Comments (230) | TrackBack

AP: Killer Biscuits Wanted for Attempted Murder

Hot car + Pillsbury biscuit canister + blonde = tragedy.

Posted by ryan on August 09, 2003 | Comments (342) | TrackBack