Sing to the tune of 50 Cent’s classic, “P.I.M.P.”

I don’t know what you heard about me
and real estate investing ain’t cheap
but I won’t charge you two and twenty
I’m a plain-vanilla REIT

I don’t know what you heard about me
but if you care at all about liquidity
don’t lock your money up at Wall Street
just get a plain-vanilla REIT

Get paid on income and appreciation
’cause one will save you when the other’s no fun
Diversify that portfolio based on solid factors
just don’t invest that cheddar with actors

This is going out to every CIO that hates
better pay attention to those cap rates
because when that bubble deflates
you just might be that goat that skapes.

Career risk is not to be ignored
When all your peers seem to be losing their gourds
Just focus on the inflation component
Of those returns and you won’t be disappointed.